How to DM Someone Who is Not on My Friends List on Discord

Do you like making new friends online? Do you want to connect with users who share your love of games, books, movies, or anything else you love? Do you want to discuss these topics with people who are just as interested as you? We know that your answer to these questions is a YES. Because why else would you be using an app like Discord if it is not for the sake of connecting with like-minded people? Discord is one of the best platforms for hanging out with people who are very similar to you in some way.

dm someone who is not on my friends list on discord

It is the best place to participate in communities and discussions revolving around topics you love. Whether you are crazy about a new game release, want a place for your bookish discussions, or just want to join a study group or school club, Discord gets you covered in the best way possible.

We all like chatting with people on Discord servers. But what if you want to send a direct message to someone you are not friends with? Can you DM someone who is not your friend on Discord? Let’s discuss these questions to understand better how messaging works on Discord.

How to DM Someone Who is Not on My Friends List on Discord

Discord is a great place to engage in community discussions. In fact, communities are precisely what the app has been created for. After all, that’s what all Discord servers essentially are: communities centered around specific topics.

But when it comes to direct messaging, the platform is a bit different from most other social media platforms you usually come across. Not that you cannot DM anyone on Discord. But the platform has some rules about DMs that might seem confusing, especially if you have just recently begun using the app.

Understanding DMs on Discord: Whom can you message directly?

On Discord, you cannot find people or message them simply by searching their names on the search bar. Let’s understand who you can DM on Discord.


Of course, you can send DMs to people you are friends with. You just need to go to the Friends section, tap on the friend you want to chat with, and select Message to open the chat screen.

Server members:

Besides allowing you to message your friends, Discord also allows you to message people who share a server with you. In other words, you can send DMs to members of a server you are on.

Follow these steps to send direct messages to members of a server on the Discord mobile app:

Step 1: Open Discord and log into your account.

Step 2: Head to the right server and go to the right channel.

Step 3: Find the member on the right channel. Unfortunately, Discord doesn’t let you search members directly in a server (which is a bummer).

To find a user, you need to find a message they sent in a channel. You can search for “from: username” in the search bar, which will give you a list of messages from the user. Tap on the correct result to go to the message from the right user.

Step 4: Once you find the message from the right user, tap on their profile picture. On the pop-up that appears, tap on Message to open the DM screen.

But there is a catch!

Actually, there is more than one catch. Discord allows you to message server members, but you might not be able to message every server member you want. This can be due to several reasons.

Direct messages disabled:

Firstly, anyone can enable or disable direct messages from server members. This option is available in the Privacy and Safety section of your profile section and also in each server’s settings. If a server member has disabled direct messages from other server members, your message will not go through.

Due to this very feature, the same problem will occur if you have disabled server messages from other members. If you disable server messages from other members, they won’t be able to message you. Therefore, you won’t be able to message them, either.

Server requirements:

Many servers require members to complete some screening steps to use all the features. If you are new to a server and haven’t completed these steps, you might be unable to DM members.

Moreover, if someone has blocked you, you won’t be able to message them.

How to send direct messages to anyone on Discord?

If you want to send DMs to anyone– even people who are not your friends and do not share any server with you– it’s not going to be easy.

To send a direct message to someone who is not your friend and doesn’t share a common server with you, you need to know their full username (along with the four-digit tag). Yes, this means you cannot send a message just to anyone; you need to have (at least) their username to get started.

Once you have the username, you need to send them a friend request. Follow these steps to send friend requests on the Discord mobile app:

Step 1: Open the app and go to the Friends section. It is the second tab at the bottom (from the left).

Step 2: Tap on the Add Friend icon at the top-right corner of the screen.

Step 3: Enter the username in the box. Remember to add the tag as well.

Step 4: Tap on Send Friend Request.

Another catch:

Despite knowing a person’s username, you still might be unable to send them a friend request. A user can choose to receive friend requests from Everyone, Friends of friends, or Server members. Someone changes these settings such that you do not qualify to send a request.

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